The Details
Chris shut the door quietly and stood looking at the phone, ringing.
It had rung about four or five times, and then all of a sudden auto-pilot kicked in; he knelt, picked up the receiver and went into the script:
‘Good morning’ (was it still morning? Who knows),
‘Epith, Wrang and Company.
This is Christopher speaking.
How may I be of assistance?’
He had always thought this last part too long-winded, Chris’ attention floated: the script was a little flowery perhaps. No, he had come to prefer something a little more snappier, like….
‘Christopher? Is that you?’
Who was this? Female. Young. Familiar voice, a Birmingham echo still in the vowel sounds. Very familiar. He was coming in to land quite rapidly…
Incredulously:
‘Andrea?’
‘Christopher?’
At that he gurgled incoherently. Too many words, and too little mouth.
‘I don’t know where I am,’ she said.
‘It’s been days.’
‘I don’t know where I am.’
‘It was all arranged; everyone contacted…’
‘I don’t know where I am.’
‘… all the invites sent out; flowers; caterers…’
‘Christopher…’
‘…hall booked, engagement party…’
‘Christopher.’
‘…and then you ring up days later and say…’
‘Christopher!’
‘…you don’t know… where you are? What do you mean you don’t where you are?’
‘I don’t. I don’t know how I got here. I don’t know where here is, it’s…’
‘Well, where is it?’
‘I Don’t Know.’
‘Well, well… describe it.’
‘It’s just a room. No windows, no chairs, tables. Nothing.’
‘What are you doing there?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘How do you eat?’
‘A cat flap. In the door. A polystyrene tray. No one says anything. No one comes in.’
‘How do you… toilet?’
‘Christopher.’
‘Go on, how do you, you know?’ A pause, silence; phone static. Then:
‘Cat litter tray.’
‘And…’
‘Through the cat flap.’
‘How do you…’
‘What?’ It didn’t sound like a question.
‘… you know… wipe…’
‘I don’t believe this. I am asking for help here, and you ask me …?’
‘Sorry.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
‘Sorry.’
Silence again; static. ‘Are you going to help me? Or not?’
‘You don’t know where you are?’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘And you don’t see anyone to ask, or…. You don’t remember…’
And then the phone went dead.
Chris knelt looking stupidly at the receiver. It purred to him like a cat. A robotic but contented cat. Gradually some confidence returned: ‘Look,’ he said to it, ‘I’ve always been good at the details. I love details; the more the better for me. I had to ask how, you know. It’s the details that tell, make it, ahem, real. Put the phone down, you fool.’ Did he hear a stifled laugh, somewhere? No. How could he?
He did hear voices approaching, though, and the shush-shush of shoes over carpet. Louder, approaching the door. Chris froze. The handle was held, turned. The door swung open. Silence.
‘I heard voices. I’m sure of it. No one here. Witherswill, there’s no one here.’ It was the CEO. Sir.
And head of Security.
‘Look, keep this door locked in future.’
‘Aye-aye, sir.’
Then he strode away. Chris was about to let out a long-held breath, when
‘I know you’re there,’ said Witherswill. He pulled the door shut smartly. Locked it with a sharp click. He whistled as he shush-shushed off. At that moment Chris would have given his shoes for a litter tray.
Gently, he tried the door. Nothing. Locked. That only left… the window, and the cradle. Even the thought of it gave him bladder pressure. He looked back at the phone. ‘I should at least have asked for her phone number.’ he muttered, aware now how empty rooms make noise. He tried re-dial. Nothing. He tried call-back. Nothing. He ran through the repertoire of phone knowledge. Nothing helpful for this situation. Then it struck him: ‘My god! I am the bridegroom!’
Andrea… he just couldn’t face the memory of that evening again, and sat staring blankly out of the window at grey on grey sky. A smattering of rain. ‘It’d make the cradle slippery. So that’s that.’
And besides, his stomach and leg muscles were aching from all that exercise.