Banks in Meltdown?

Posted: September 15, 2012 in Chat
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1

It started about 25 years ago, buying a house – ok, mortgaging a house. Then last June it came up that it was paid for.

They had been misadvised on type of mortgage from the start, it turned out.

There would be a short-fall. Ok, they knew it was coming, how much; so they budgeted for it.

Back to last June: paying in their last mortgage payment. Next day they paid off the shortfall. All paid up. A few days later the official letter: nothing now owed, you will receive the Deeds to the house in a few days time.

So they waited, and waited, and waited. You know how it is, other things get in the way, you lose track.

Come September still nothing – so they decided to ring the mortgage brokers/ bank.

Then it began. What started as a phone call to check on the progress of the delivery of the Deeds, turned into a huge wrangle.

Firstly the employee said there was a deficit. But they have a letter stating all was done, and the Deeds… I am sorry, but there does seem to be something still owing. What is owing; they were assured all was paid up?

The account is still active, which means there is still something unfinished; there is still a deficit. What deficit? There was an unpaid shortfall. Do you mean this amount, for which Your receipt number is…?

Really? (No, I’, being too generous, they would Never be so disingenuous: one must always suspect the client).

So a lot of argument, to-ing and fro-ing got them to look back over their records and … Yes, there it was!

So, what IS the problem? They’ll send a letter explaining it. No, they didn’t want thay hanging over them, after having paid for 25 years Without Missing A Payment. AND as you can see, having paid the shortfall! SO What Is The Problem?!

A long and increasingly irate argument ensued.  In the long and protracted end they had to call their supervisor.

So, start all over again.

Ah yes…  it seems… the closure of the account was not triggered.

How? Why?

It seems to be human error.

YOUR human error?

Yes.

– The minions who answer phones are not allowed to admit error in the system – that must come from above.

We’ll send you a letter.

Is this the same letter we received last June saying All was paid, and the Deeds will come in a few days? But updated to now?

Yes.

Oh goody.

– Ok, it’s all in a days’ work. Banks, eh?

2

Well here’s another one:

They knew there was a lot going out of their account, so put a cheque in to more than cover it. He was standing in line to pay in, when the person from the Help Desk said Why not pay it in by Quick Deposit? Here, I’ll show you. So she took his cheque, filled out the chit, sealed it up and put it in the box. He had the receipt. Good.

So, when the account  details came in they found they were overdrawn, and had accrued interest on it.

Back to the phone and Hey, we covered this, they said. Here’s the receipt number for the paying in slip.

Eventually they found it. Ah, it has not been entered onto the system.

Sorry. What? Oh yes, we’ll cancel all the interest.

The cheque had been lying around in the bank system unattached for about three weeks. Drifting, daydreaming, la-la-la ing through its days.

Quick Deposit box, we charge you with being a misnomer! Bank, we charge you with… not being a bank!

3

She took out a life insurance policy. Later, new managers said Hey this isn’t the best one for you. This other is better. So it was agreed. The other one closed.

Later she got a letter – it turned out she had been having to pay into Both – because the MANAGER who dealt with it had not closed the first policy.

You can imagine what it was like because the first 2 happened within a few weeks of each other. They were by related ‘banks’, in that the bank had taken over the Building Society.

 

 

These are what you might call small-scale events – but they are also metonyms, symptoms, of a whole-scale state of… collapse?

I will leave you to draw your own conclusions.

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